Just Thoughts #4 on Disability and Sex
The Vast majority of humans that inhabit the earth want to find romance, we are wired to want to be desired. I belong to a minority in society who are not often viewed as physically desirable. Sex, Love and disability is a subject I have wrote about extensively, it is a subject I am passionate about obviously. I am sick at disabled people being treated as if we all ought to be in bed by 9pm and as though finding a person with a disability attractive is some how a fetish or down right wrong.
Ladies and gentlemen and everything in between, disabled people in terms of love, are just like you, your not a sexual deviant if you find a disabled person hot. The problem is not that disabled people are not generally attractive, it is that media creates the illusion that disability and sexuality is some how not “normal” and indeed, we are not portrayed as sexy we are either to be pitied or inspiring, never to be fucked.
When the world disregards your human need to feel sexually appealing to others, when society mocks others for finding your body type attractive it is hard not to want to find a way to accept that, romance and therefore sex, therefore children and therefore a family of your own may not be in your life. Yes this is my personal feeling sometimes. I’m sorry to sound so depressing but I’m certainly not the only disabled person that feels this way and I know that these kinds of feelings are not just exclusive to the disabled community.
Sex is a human right (or it should be) it is overrated and underrated in different ways. When sex is just sex, it is just sex the banging together of two bodies. But when sex is the act of being intimate, the sharing of your body with another human its kind of magical. Many people with disabilities can not access the dating world for a number of reasons such as their, care needs, lack of independence, lack of the confidence as a result of self consciousness due to their disability.
Sex workers in my opinion are a valuable solution to this problem. There is a horrible stigma around sex workers and the Documentary “Scarlet Road” addresses this, as well as the difficulties people with disabilities have in exploring their sexuality. Its far more than just a leg over, for example the documentary features a gentleman with a muscle wasting disability and he only has the ability to use his head, we see him explain that after seeing Rachel, (the subject of the documentary) he regains or rediscovers muscle movement. Furthermore this is a dude who wanted to end is life and seeing a sex worker gave him Happiness, Sex workers like Rachel are not “whores” or “sluts” they are fucking angels. Of course there are obvious drawbacks to paying for sex, its expensive, financially and in some cases emotionally, if seeing a sex worker changes your life, you are probably going to develop feelings for the women. It can also become addictive, if you have that type of personality. The biggest Drawback in my opinion would be that paying for sex may derail a person from even trying to find a romantic partner. There is no way a sex worker can offer anything as valuable as the feeling of love, being loved and being wanted. However, if you can afford a sex worker and you benefit from it then, why not?
If You Enjoyed this blog please check out the links below to my other work on this topic;
Love And peace