Dear Marsha, I have been meaning to write to you for a while,
Its been over a year since our last session, by the way its Kyle.
Last summer my gran and sister came to stay, it happened like I wanted.
I went for a job interview at my previous college, the job I never got it, I was never bothered.
Things were going so well, things are so much better than before you helped me.
I completed a course in basic counselling, you said I should pursue,
I loved it, I find it so rewarding, next month I start my level two.
I’ll be thankful for the distraction, see right now, things don’t feel so great.
The girl I loved, the girl I love, you know the girl I let go,
You know the girl my insecurities pushed away, she come back.
I wanted to write to you sooner, tell you how far I had came and thank you again
Unfortunately this poem doesn’t feel the same, she left me, she said she loved me,
She doesn’t love me, she doesn’t love me, why doesn’t she love me!
Sorry about that, my most recent obsession,
You’d tell me to think logically, but this depression is so overwhelming.
Old thought patterns resurface, was I her burden, I am worthless, I don’t deserve happiness.
You’d ask for evidence, I’d tell you, I feel broken and that it is unfair to expect to be loved with this.
You would laugh probably, tell me you don’t agree and that neither do I really,
You’d tell me I’m giving to much time to my OCD and that this isn’t me.
Marsha, I’m really hurting but this time, I feel it.
I’m feeling every part of it, I’m writing this in part to process it.
I’m listening to sad things, watching sad things feeling everything and feeling numb.
I’m bleeding all of this into music, into poetry and I’m making plans.
Plans to do something with my sadness, I want to help others, with this.
I wont take up much more of your time, maybe just a few more lines.
Without your help, I don’t believe I would of come back from this.
I would have ran from all of it, I now know I need to face all of it, feel the worst of it,
To grow from it, to learn from it, to survive it.
then eventually recover and revive my life after all of it.
Marsha, I think about you everyday,
Marsha I wish I could thank you in every way.