Monthly Archives: September 2017

I Wanted To Write An Angry Song (Poem)

I wanted to write an angry song, but I wrote yet another sad song.

I want to show you, my venom, I feel poisoned, I feel unable.

I’m still buried by this, still crushed by all of it, it means nothing to you.

I want so bad, for you to comprehend, the void and the chasm, the empty shell.

 

I know I said I forgave you, like the way, you said I could trust you.

I cant forgive you, I’m to busy trying to forget you.

Sack the happy times, I should have never met you.

I’m so dead to you, I was almost dead because of you.

You show no signs of care, no signs of guilt.

Like I slashed my wrist, and the only thing, that bothered you.

Was how the blood would look on you. Quickly wash it away from you.

 

I’m past loving you, although I still do.

You are a virus, I’m patient zero.

You change feelings, like I write poems.

You are hidden, but I see you, I see all of you.

 

Please Love Me (Poem)

Love me Please, Please for the love of coffee, love me

I beg you, not to tell me, to love myself, I don’t believe I can.

I’m sorry I’m so dead, so empty, staring into a lonely abyss.

Please try to, love me and my wreckage, me and my hurt.

 

Witness my torment, understand my Turmoil

I’m as broken as they come, not much of a man, I’m barely a human.

I’m a swift swipe left, a sudden step back, an awkward gaze.

I don’t do happy, I don’t do sad, I do crazy, I do straight suicide.

I have zero balance, I’m well aware of my punctuated heart ache.

I’m as hopeless as I am faithless, so guarded, so dangerous.

 

Love me, this is all of me. Feel empty with me.

Come see all the dark, come hide my scars.

Come distinguish, a love song, from a suicide note.

Lets plan a wedding, Love me, lets plan my funeral, love me.

Get Out (Poem)

 

I’m not against having a good time, but fuck “sesh life”

Son of an alcoholic, graduate and non working class observer.

Abuse and neglect attached to substance misuse.

Theres having a good time, there’s having a problem

I’m no saint, I lack the resources to become what most remember dad for.

Lets be real, lets be honest, our blood is biased, our love is rose coloured.

 

We are failing to learn from tragedies,

We are drinking our futures into trauma

Deal with this or die a cut out, die a number.

Take some responsibility, have a look at the scars, your scalding.

Be boring, be a geek, be a loner, better than being a drunk.

 

Its so pathetic, but its what we know.

No jobs, no education, no hope.

Dare you be different, dare you need love dare you need help

Be mocked, be ignored, be bullied, find a way to forget

 

In that place nobody is anyone,

Low life is the only kind of life.

No-one really tries, no-one wants to learn.

Get out, Get out, Get out, Get out Get Out.

  

Who Am I / Where Did I Go? (Poem)

 

Who am I? where did I go? I really don’t know anymore.

I write these words, I make that music, but it all feels pointless!

Life has swallowed me, love has emptied me, now I resent my existence!

If I could cry, if I could scream, if I could express emotion.

Perhaps I wouldn’t go straight to suicide as a response to a minor hindrance.

 

I’m not sure on how much I really want to die, I just know,

I don’t really want to live, this life and I’m too hurt to change.

I’m too scared to try I’m too scared to believe, cause look at where that got me.

I am not living for me, I’m living for all of you. I’m existing not to harm you.

I need a break from myself, so I over sleep, I cant feel if I don’t wake up.

I wish I didn’t feel so lost inside, wish I could just go and hide.

I don’t remember a time when I felt stable.

My last truly positive emotions, were woven by a liar!

Those feelings are clouded and corrupted, by dishonesty and manipulation.

Suicide is short hand for control, actual control.

an end to the chaos but an end to everything, like it or not its an easy way out!

I’m too stubborn for that, I may feel like that,

but I don’t really think I could do that.

This could be something?

We are chatting, so lets chat.

Would you, swipe right on me?

You like, my words, I like you, all I know of you.

I barely know you, I’m scared to think, cause I’m scared to think.

 

I tell you, your pretty, I play hide and seek.

I pull back, I go silent. I feel cold I grow distant.

I’m bruised, aren’t you too, I don’t want to speak too soon.

Maybe this is stupid, I’m certain this dangerous, but you seem safe.

 

I want to run away, help me run away from reality?

By the way, you are pretty, why do I feel so creepy…

Have I said too much, have I spoke to soon,

I’m sorry, take this as me playing, I’m not meaning to play with you,

But I’d like to make you smile, could you help me learn to smile?

I don’t want to scare you, and I’m scared to admit I like you.

I don’t want to burden you with my feelings,

Are these feelings, are these thoughts, is this nothing, this could be something?