It sure would be nice, to feel clean, really clean.
It would be magnificent to feel comfortable, truly comfortable.
It would be amazing to feel anything close to safe, anything close!
It would be something, if I could outwardly emote, properly break down.
This sadness, these obsessions this darkness,
It is heavy, so fucking heavy, still not over my dad dying.
I still don’t know what is real and what is obsession.
I still detest my body and shape, still avoid the sound of my voice.
Still really really love her, still really really hate every part of me.
I try, I really do, I try not to feel empty, I try and at least tolerate myself.
Its not a case of shaking myself, you say that to ease your discomfort.
It would be nice to consider happiness
It would be special to believe in the myth.
It would feel nice and warm to slip away from myself.
It would be something, to feel a part of any one of you.