Who Am I / Where Did I Go? (Poem)

 

Who am I? where did I go? I really don’t know anymore.

I write these words, I make that music, but it all feels pointless!

Life has swallowed me, love has emptied me, now I resent my existence!

If I could cry, if I could scream, if I could express emotion.

Perhaps I wouldn’t go straight to suicide as a response to a minor hindrance.

 

I’m not sure on how much I really want to die, I just know,

I don’t really want to live, this life and I’m too hurt to change.

I’m too scared to try I’m too scared to believe, cause look at where that got me.

I am not living for me, I’m living for all of you. I’m existing not to harm you.

I need a break from myself, so I over sleep, I cant feel if I don’t wake up.

I wish I didn’t feel so lost inside, wish I could just go and hide.

I don’t remember a time when I felt stable.

My last truly positive emotions, were woven by a liar!

Those feelings are clouded and corrupted, by dishonesty and manipulation.

Suicide is short hand for control, actual control.

an end to the chaos but an end to everything, like it or not its an easy way out!

I’m too stubborn for that, I may feel like that,

but I don’t really think I could do that.

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